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  • Writer's pictureEdward Cunningham

Why cell phones have become the new relationship kryptonite.

The first cell phone call was made by Motorola on April 3, 1973. At some point over the last 47 years, a convenient idea began to evolve that our cell phones became a separate entity from our exclusive relationship or marriage, as if they grew another arm. 80% of our information and lives are contained on the average persons cell phone. Recent research indicates that we spend about 3.1 hours on our cell phone per day. The interesting thing is the fact that the person they purchased a home with, had children, travelled the world, sleep with on a nightly basis is prohibited from using their phone. In many cases even in an emergency. I’m not insinuating that they are wrong, I just don’t understand the rational. One of the first things my wife and I did before becoming engaged was to establish a viable “technology policy”. This subject was so important, that I devoted an entire chapter in my book “Reciprocity”. This includes social media, cloud storage, cell phones etc. I get the argument, that If you trust me why should it matter. AS MY DAUGHTER WOULD SAY "STOP PLAYIN WITH ME" My argument is, if you trust me why is it an issue. The access is not for the purpose of daily phone audits and abuse. That truly is trust related. If my wife felt compelled to conduct such foolishness, I probably would resist. Personally, I feel that the greater the transparency, the greater the trust, the greater the trust, the stronger the relationship becomes. My wife and I use the same phone codes, so if there was an emergency she would be able to access my contacts and other pertinent information. I have three businesses that I run and my wife having access is important to me. My wife and I have made it a practice to turn off our cell phones when we are on dates. I see couples at dinner that spend more time texting and checking likes on social media than they do talking to each other. Couples wake up and tell 1500 followers good morning on social media and never say anything to their mates. I truly believe that some people love their cell phone more than their spouses. When interviewing couples for my book “RECIPROCITY”, the majority of relationship conflict had some connection to their cell phone. If you are currently in an established relationship it's hard to go backwards on such a controversial subject. Try one day a week preferably a Sunday. Turn off your cell phone. Take your significant other on a walk in the park, trail, bridge, horseback riding, winery and see how fulfilled your day becomes. Don’t enter another exclusive relationship without having these discussions. The failure to do so, could cause problems down the line.

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