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  • Writer's pictureEdward Cunningham

Are we demonstrating to our children what love and respect look like.

If a child never observed their father kiss their mother, hold her hand in public., ask her about her day, administer copious amounts of love, affection, attention and praise. The results could be socially catastrophic. Conversely, if a woman never demonstrates or supports her husband and give him respect and autonomy to accomplish task domestically. The totality of these life experiences, considering the fact that our personality is fully developed by the age of (7) is crucial. Maybe that's why the great philosopher Aristotle said "GIVE ME A CHILD UNTIL THEY ARE SEVEN AND I WILL SHOW YOU THE MAN". Ultimately what shapes our behavior is love and where we get it from. A child that joined a neighborhood gang wasn't born that way, he developed that way. A young girl who became promiscuous before 14 yrs old wasn't born that way she developed that way. These examples are often evolutions of love deficiencies. I can’t demonstrate love to my wife, while at the same time coming in the house at 2am, intoxicated in the presence of my son, uttering debasing and derogatory language. My 5 yr old son demands that I kiss him on the cheek before he goes to bed. When I go to the grocery store, my son makes a point to let me know to not forget mom’s flowers. Most adults know what love feels like, but many have no idea of what it looks like. All too often, I hear of people seeking mates at social events, social media, dating apps and websites. I am a firm believer that we attract love not seek love. Let me go on record before I go further and say that love is an energy that communicates through vibrations and frequency, it's not a destination. Ultimately we attract the person that we are. It encompasses not just a feeling but also a behavior and a responsibility. It’s the behavior and responsibility aspect that often gets neglected. This is what caused me to create this article. I'm not perfect, I argue with my wife from time to time as well. The difference is the fact that our arguments have respectful boundaries. Love must have all three to be fully healthy and functional. Feeling, behavior and integrity. The absence of any one of the three will place your relationship in a very precarious position. If someone tried to show you love, how would you know how to validate the effort if you were raised in a loveless household. If you are honest with yourself, have you witnessed your mother and father demonstrate love

in your presence. The sad thing is the fact that most have not. Most people learn how to love from their television and what they see in public. So often people seeking love associate love with it's chemical entanglements, only to be disappointed when love escalates and you never developed the skill sets to keep novelty functioning at optimum levels. Also, could it be the fact that when someone tries to love you the right way you run in the opposite direction. You have become so conditioned by your life living inside of a chicken coop that when an eagle wants to show you the skyline you think it's a pipe dream. Open you heart to new possibilities and never judge what shows up.

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